Empty Nest

How did this happen, how is my first born baby ready to go to kindergarten in less than 1 week!?  Full-day kindergarten at that (all CPS is full day K).   I have been in denial, but reality is around the corner.  Don't get me wrong, some moments I delight at the idea of having a daily break from my darling eldest son.  However, when he is gone, it just feels weird.  I feel like I need to tell people "I have one more" when we are out and about, as if I am explaining/ justifying why I am missing a piece of essential clothing - heck, a limb. No more impromptu field trips with all 3 to places that are insanely busy and best avoided on weekends. No more leisurely getting about our day, or late nights to bed.  No more seeing my kid for more hours a day than anyone else.  Ugh!

Not trying to be a Debbie Downer, this is a major milestone and life experience for my big boy.  A milestone he is elated to conquer thankfully!  I wish for him to stay this excited about school.  I try to leave my own bittersweet apprehension to myself - well, to myself and to my husband after kiddos are in bed.  Homeschooling has crossed my mind. I just wish there was something in between; something that allowed freedom for real life learning and also providing the life lessons being in school teaches.  On a bright side, my middle child can receive a bit more attention now, something I think he needs before I am going through this same trepidation over him hitting the school halls.
 

Parenting is hard.  Some days are so slow and trying on every part of my being, but then you wake up and years have flashed by!